BROKEN WINGS OF INNOCENCE
by Jenny Lambert
Summary: Joe's emotions are on the ramage. Can he be helped before it's too late?


Everyone was dressed to a tee; the buzzing of voices and clinking of champagne glasses signified that a celebration was in progress

**BROKEN WINGS OF INNOCENCE**

**By: Jenny Lambert**

Everyone was dressed to a tee; the buzzing of voices and clinking of champagne glasses signified that a celebration was in progress. It was the inauguration of Dr. Kozoburo Nambu into ISO's dignified and elite Scientists Hall of Fame; He was being honored for his work and continued success with the project everyone knew as the Mantel Plan, and it was also to be made public his contributions towards the Gatchaman project.

In a back corner table, away from the crowds and noise, Ken and the others, sans Joe, were admiring the site. They knew it was one of the biggest days in their mentor's life, and despite the fact they were forced to wear very formal attire, they were honored and anxious to be able to attend the event. 

Ken stared at the empty chair reserved for his friend and cursed. _"Where is he? The inauguration is supposed to start in about five minutes!" _

Jun shrugged her shoulders; she was just as miffed by Joe's absence, but didn't let it show_. "He'll be along. He knows how important it is to Hakase that he be here. He won't miss it."_

_"No I guess not, but I don't understand why he couldn't come with the rest of us. This whole issue would be resolved then."_

_"You know why Ken. He said he had a headache and wasn't feeling well. He wanted to rest a while before coming."_

_"Yea, but that doesn't give him an excuse to be late! He should've just taken a Tylenol and been here already!"_

As Director Anderson, the security chief of ISO, stepped forward to the podium, he was greeted with the roar of applause. He raised his hands in theair as a gesture for silence, then began with the introductions_. "Thank you all for coming. Tonight we will be honoring one of ISO's finest scientists into the Hall of Fame. Most of you know him for his work with the Mantel Plan, and others may know him as the inspiration behind the Science Ninja Team."_

At the mentioning of Gatchaman, a few of the ISO personnel, who were aware of the team's secret identities, turned towards the back of the room and gave a quick nod of appreciation. It was their way of silently honoring the ones responsible for saving the Earth countless times from the grips of Galactor. _"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is a privilege for me to introduce to you Doctor Kozoburu Nambu."_

There was another round of applause as the Doctor stepped forward. He was humbled by the show of gratitude, and he let it be known. _"I don't know what to say. Surely it is an honor for me to be standing up here, but it's even more an honor to know that so many of you have come to celebrate this event with me."_

Joe walked in then; his face portrayed his usual downcast mood, and he was terribly underdressed in a pair of jeans and an untucked flannel shirt. His eyesmet Ken's cold blues, and he shrugged nonchalantly_. "Sorry I'm late. Got held up. Damn headache."_

Ken did all he could to stop from slugging his friend. To do so would have caused a scene, and Joe's callously late entrance had already done that_. "What the hell's wrong with you? Where's the suit? This is one of the biggest events in Hakase's life, and you're treating it like it's something that happens every day!" _

He apologized again, pretty much saying what he said the first time. _"Sorry. I didn't have enough time to get the suit. The damn headache."_

_"A headache made you late? And it made you come dressed like that?"_ He pointed to Joe's disheveled appearance. _'It looks like you just rolled out of bed and drove here!"_

_"Shut up Ken!" _The quick flash of anger even surprised himself_. "I'm here aren't I?"_

_"You might as well just have stayed home! Talk about discrediting the one person who helped raise you."_

_"Helped raise me? I raised myself damn it! I don't even know why HE should get an award for having anything to do with us!" _Joe's temper was obviously growing hotter; it made him terribly out of line. "_He sits behind the desk, while we risk our lives! Doesn't really make sense, does it?" _

His voice was louder than it should've been, and his comments turned a few heads. He obliged each angered gaze with the rudest of responses. _"Am I talking to you? What the hell's your problem?" _

Ken was dumbfounded; he could say nothing in his second's defense_. "Joe, I think you need to step outside. I don't know what your problem is, but now's not the time to be expressing it."_

_"Nag nag nag. That's all you ever do isn't it Ken? God I wish for once you could open your mouth without spewing a lecture!"_

Jun elbowed Joe in the ribcage_. "Please! Not now! You're causing a scene!"_

His response took her completely off guard; he verbally slapped her with a rather lude comment. "_You and him. Always teaming up on me! Why don't you just come right out and say you want to fuck him Jun?"_

He continued to attract even more attention to himself, and as more eyes turned in his direction; he once again reprimanded them_. "Am I talking to you? Let's all pay homage to the great Kozoburo Nambu, shall we?" _Raising up out of his chair, he mockingly began to bow to his mentor. _"All hail Doctor Nambu! Let's award him for destroying five children's lives!"_

_"Joe!" _Ken grabbed hold of his friend's shoulders and pushed him back down_. "What the hell are you doing? Stop it!"_

_"You stop it! Don't touch me you hear?"_ Pushing his commander aside, Joe rose again and started a speech of his own. _"Why are we all here? To celebrate one man's 'triumphs'? Ha! That man up there on the podium stripped me of my innocence and made me a killer! And now you all expect me to thank him for it? You want me to sit here like a good little boy and smile, pretending I love him for what he's done? Bullshit!" _

His features hardened as his gaze met Doctor Nambu's befuddled one. _"You know how I want to repay you for what you've done Hakase? Do you really want to know how I feel? I'll show you!" _

From the corner of his eye Ken saw the flash of metal, but before he could open his mouth to scream a warning the gun was fired. Joe's aim was true; Doctor Nambu's head jerked backwards, then his body collapsed to the ground. 

Over the screams and panic of the crowd Joe continued to talk; his voice was calm and straightforward_. "How does it feel Hakase? How does it feel to have_ _your life stripped away from you?"_ He laughed and gave the Doctor a mock salute, then shocked everyone by making his exit grand. Lunging for the window, he crashed through it.

**************

For a moment no one moved, then confusion gave way to an even stronger panic. "_Oh my God! He shot Doctor Nambu!"_

_"Someone get an ambulance! Now!"_

The bullet had pierced Nambu's skull behind his left temple; he was losing blood fast, and it was already beginning to coagulate beside where he lay. Ken bent down next to him and felt for a pulse; it was there, yet very faint_. "Hakase, hold on. Help is on the way."_

Tears were flowing down the Doctor's cheeks as he reached out for his son's hand. He was terribly hurt by Joe's actions, mentally and physically, and he didn't understand what could have led him to do such a thing. "_I never knew he felt this way. Why didn't he tell me?"_

_"Hakase, I…I don't know. Something was wrong with him. He just wasn't being himself. I don't understand."_

_"Find the answers for me Ken. You must find out what's wrong."_

_"But Hakase, we can't do it without you! Please…You can't…"_

Doctor Nambu squeezed Ken's hand and smiled weakly_. "If it's my time, I cannot argue. You have to take what cards you've been dealt and use them as best you can. You know that better than anyone." _His voice began to fade, and with it, his consciousness_. "You've got to help Joe. If anyone can do it, I know you can."_

Ken pulled his foster father close and tried to reassure him_. "I'll try Hakase. I'll do what I can."_

************

Joe glanced at the clock; it read 8:30. **"Why aren't I at the induction ceremony?"** He looked down at the numerous cuts that stained his clothing red, and couldn't remember what had happened. **"Why am I bleeding?"** The pistol lay beside him; it had the telltale smell and residue on the muzzle from being fired. To confirm his suspicions he opened the chamber; one bullet was missing. **"Why did I fire my gun?"**

He tried to put the pieces together, but all he got from it was more confusion and a blinding pain across his temples. **"What the hell is causing these headaches?"** He'd thought of talking to Doctor Nambu about them, but what would he say? It wouldn't be the first time he'd experienced these types of symptoms. **"Doctor Nambu? Why do I fear something has happened to him?" **

The fog of his memory was disturbing, and he signaled to Ken, hoping to get answers. "_Ken? It's Joe. How's the ceremony going? Tell Hakase I'm sorry I missed it."_

There was a pause, then Ken replied, rather curtly_. "You didn't miss it, you bastard! You gave it one hell of a bang!"_

_"What?" _Another sharp pain brought haze and dark spots to his vision. It wasreturning again, like it had in the past: the headaches, disorientation and blurred vision. Why? **"Doctor Rafael said it was over. He compensated for the brain damage. Why the hell is it back again?" **_"Ken, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm nowhere near the auditorium. I'm sitting in my car in the middle of the desert, and I don't know why. My head is killing me."_

_"You're head isn't the only thing killing Joe!"_

He didn't like the accusatory tone_. "Just what are you trying to say Ken? What did I do now?" _

The question was asked with genuine concern, and Ken could sense it. His voice softened. _"Joe? Are you ok? Do you really not remember?"_

_"I…I…no! I've got dozens of cuts all over me, my clothes are soaked with blood, and I used my pistol for…for something! What's happened to me Ken? What did I do?"_

_"I don't know how to put this Joe_." He paused, then took a deep breath andexhaled_. "You came to the induction ceremony, you made a scene in front of everyone there, and then…" _

He didn't want to continue, but Joe was impatient and egged him on_. "Then what? Come out with it already damn it!"_

_"You shot Hakase in the head and jumped out a window." _The comment brought a stunned silence; Ken had expected it_. "Joe? You still there?"_

His reply was shakily forced_. "I…I shot Hakase…Why? How…how is he?"_

_"I won't lie Joe. He's stable, but in a coma. I don't know why you did it. You went postal on us, then stood up and gave a speech about how he destroyed your life. Next thing I know you're pulling a gun and shooting him. It was like that was your whole intention for being there to begin with. You sure you don't remember? Not any of it?"_

Tears of guilt began to streak down his cheeks. He didn't understand._ **"**_**Why? Why did I do it? Why can't I remember?"** _"Ken. No. I…oh God, why? I couldn't…I mean…I did, but…why?" _

_"Let me come and get you, ok? We can work through this. You need help, and I want to give it to you."_

_"Ken, I don't want you near me. I don't want anyone near me. What if I…I do it again?"_

_"We'll cross that hurdle when we get there ok? Just calm down and go back to your trailer. I'll meet you there and we can talk more. I know you don't understand. Neither do I, but we will make sense of it together. Deal?"_

Joe swallowed hard, then closed his eyes and sighed. **"What if I do something to Ken? Will I be able to stop it before it's too late? What's happening to me? Why am I so worried about it?"**

_"Hey, you didn't answer me. Go to your trailer and wait for me, ok?"_

Reluctantly he agreed to the meeting, only because he needed help, and he knew his brother would provide it. _"Ok Ken. I'll be at the trailer."_

**********

The ride back had been uneventful; all Joe could think about was Doctor Nambu and what he'd been told had happened. **"Why can't I remember? What is wrong with me?" **He wondered if his past really wascoming back to haunt him, and that maybe Doctor Rafael had been wrong with his assumptions. **"What if there really is no way to compensate for the brain damage? What if nothing has changed, and I'm just now finding that out?" **

In frustration, and in sheer desperation of releasing the guilt and anger, he screamed, then laid his head down on his pillow and began sobbing. What would happen if Doctor Nambu died? Could the others ever forgive him? Could he ever forgive himself? **"They'll never let me forget what I've done. Ken will constantly** **remind me of it, like he always does, by nagging, nagging, and nagging."**_ "Damn you Ken. Why can't you learn to lighten up? I could give a rat's ass about half of what you preach to me!"_

His bitterness and pain unexpectedly brought about another haunting image, one that consisted of both helplessness and despair. Visions of his parents lying dead on the beach appeared, their voices screamed at him while their fingers pointed accusingly. **"Why didn't you save us Joe? Look at what you did to us!"**From reality's standpoint they were right, he was nothing more than a cold-blooded killer. Thousands had died by his hand; often times they were innocent victims killed by gunfire or bird missiles. 

He didn't deserve to have the life he'd been given; Cross Karakolm should've been an ending point, but he'd been saved by Doctor Rafael and turned into a weapon. _"Damn that Doctor Rafael! Why right does he have to decide who lives and dies?" _Without even knowing he was doing it, he headed for the bathroom, to the medicine cabinet. All the while he continued to curse aloud. _"It was MY choice, and I wanted to die! Damn him for what he did!"_

His sorrow gave way to frustrated anger_. _**"To hell with all of you! I should have never come****back! My life should be over! I was denied the right to be with my parents again." **_"Damn__it! Damn all of you!" _As a Catholic, he knew the results from committing suicide. Taking your own life was a sin, something God didn't forgive you for. **"Who cares? I'll never be forgiven****for what I've done anyway! I killed my parents, and now I've killed Hakase! I don't deserve Ken as a brother. I don't deserve the others as my friends! Hell is what I deserve, and hell is what I'll get!"**

His mind lost all self-control then, and as he became overwhelmed with the desire to end it all, he found himself absently mindedly reaching to the top shelf for a straight razor. **"It will be so** **simple; this time, no one can stop me from succeeding."**

He pressed the blade against his skin, then felt an almost satisfying pleasure as he looked down at the blood that flowed dark red from the wounds. Finally, he'd receive his deliverance. There'd be no one to deny him what should have happened years ago. **"It's finally gonna be over. Thank God it's finally gonna be over."**

************

When he came to again he was vaguely aware that Ken's arms were around him, trying to pull him to his feet. _"Joe, get up. We've got to get you to the hospital."_

At first he didn't understand the concern, then he noticed his blood stained bandages around his wrists and turned ashade paler._ "Ken? What happened? What did I do?"_

_"Take it easy. You cut your wrists. I'm gonna get you to the hospital, and it'll be ok then."_

_"I…I don't remember. Why?"_

_"I don't know why, but we'll figure it out. I'll get you some help Joe. I won't let you die."_

Hearing those words seemed to flick on a switch in Joe's mind. **"How come you're not gonna leave me for dead this time?" **He staggered to his feet, then without forewarning, slugged Ken in the face, knocking him backward against the wall. _"Why do you suddenly give a damn if I live or die? Ryu asked to take me to the Phoenix, but all you could do is give me your fuckin' boomerang and tell me to keep it as a remembrance of your feelings for me. Your feelings for me? What did that tell me Ken? That you didn't give enough of a damn to try to save me? You left me to die!"_

Ken balked away from retaliation; he knew that if Joe were mad enough he could probably kill him, and it was obvious he was. He took a breath, then spoke carefully. _"Come on, don't start this now. We have to get you to the hospital."_

_"Fuck the hospital!" _Another blow was administered, this time to Ken's chest, knocking the wind from his lungs. "_And fuck you too! Who put you in charge anyway? Hakase? It's no wonder, since you were always the boy who could do no wrong! It was always 'Ken this' and 'Ken that'. What about Joe? I was there too, but did I EVER get any recognition, for anything? No! All I ever got was nagging, nagging, nagging. Always "Joe you should be more like Ken' and 'Joe, why can't you be more responsible?'"_

Ken sat and listened in stunned silence; He didn't want to believe the words that were spewing from Joe's mouth, but he knew he had to. The feelings his brother had kept locked deep inside for the past twelve years were finally coming out, and with a vengeance. _"What makes you so damn special anyway Ken? Why couldn't Hakase love me like he did you? I tried EVERYTHING, but I never got his approval. All I ever got was a second place to you. Even with Gatchaman. Oh, sorry, the Science Ninja Team. We're not all Gatchaman…just you are. You're so special you even got your own fucking title. 'Hi, I'm Eagle Ken Washio, I'm Gatchaman.' Then it's like, 'oh yeah, there's five of us isn't there?' so you have to add Science Ninja Team."_

The bantering stopped for a moment, then he looked down at his brother and calmly asked. _"Why?" _

The generalization of the question was irritating, and Ken let him know it. _"Why what?"_

The switch in his mind flicked on again, and the sobbing began, hard and wracking. _"Do you…care? How can you…after what I've done?"_

**"He's lost it!"** Ken cautiously got up and went to his brother's side, half expecting to receive another beating. "_Because it doesn't matter what you did. It matters what you do now. Do you really think I wanted to leave you behind at Cross Karakolm? It tore my heart out Joe. I didn't want to lose you then, just like I don't want to lose you now. Sure I've got the others, but they aren't you. They're not my brother. Believe it or not, I need you to keep me walking straight. How many times have you smacked me upside the head and told me an idea was stupid? And how many times were you right? Just about always!"_

_"Stop it, now you're being patronizing!"_

_"It's better than a lecture isn't it?" _The comment sort of slipped out, but it had the intended effect. For a moment Joe's facade cracked, then he grew serious again. "_I really don't deserve you as a brother Ken."_

_" We're not going to start that AGAIN are we? I know I've said this half a dozen times, but we really do need to get you to the hospital."_

Joe looked down at his bandaged wrists again and replied meekly_. "Yeah, I guess I do, don't I?"_

The two of them took a step towards the door, then Joe stopped_. "Ken, don't leave me ok? I don't want to go through this alone. Not like last time."_

Ken was humbled by his brother's sincerity_. _**"Guess he really does care about me after all."**_ "I won't Joe. I'll be beside you all the way." _

*************

Half way to the ISO infirmary the realization of the situation hit home. **"I can't just go waltzing into ISO like everything is ok. They'll do tests on me** **and find out what I really am. I'm just not ready to tell the others about that yet."** He had to do something, but what? He'd just got done asking Ken not to leave him, and now he wanted him to just walk away? **"He won't buy it. I'll never get him away from me, not without using force anyway."**

The headaches came then, and with it the disorientation and blurred vision. Joe lowered his head and rubbed his temples, making a point to complain about the pain. _"Aw shit. I'm really getting sick of these headaches! I wish I knew what was causing them!" _

Ken gave him a sideways glance and as expected, stopped the car and went right to coddling. _"You ok Joe? What can I do to help? Anything?"_

_"There is one thing you can do."_

_"What is it?" _He leaned forward, concerned.

Joe hated to do it; he'd done enough to his brother already to warrant one more attack, but this was necessary. Hecouldn't take Ken to Rafael's , and he couldn't risk being followed either.**"I've got no choice. Besides, he'll get****over it".**_ "Please understand that I have to do this Ken, ok?"_

_"Do what?"_

_"This." _His fist rose suddenly and impacted with the side of Ken's head, knocking him backward against the window. For a moment he just stared in stunned disbelief, then as the ringing in his ears increased and his mind gave way to unconsciousness, he smiled and replied,_ "Oh, that. I should've known."_

***************

When Ken awoke a few minutes later, he smiled at his deviousness. Joe had done exactly what he'd been expected to do, and for that reason, he'd had a tracking device slipped into his pocket at his trailer. Now it was just a matter of finding out where he was going, and what he was trying to run away from. Was the past coming back to haunt him again? And if yes, how was he going to take care of it? **"What's up with you Joe? One minute you want me around and the next minute you don't? What are you trying to hide?"**_ _

His thoughts were focused on two years prior, and on the events that had taken place then. He'd known something was up with Joe, but he'd decided to ignore it, thinking that if his brother was in trouble, he'd let him know about it. He'd been wrong. **"I saw the signs, but I did nothing! This time, I'm not going to. If Joe needs help, he's going to get it. I won't let him fall."**

Joe's signal led to a boat dock, where further investigation revealed that a young man by the last name of George had chartered a small craft for the day. Ken asked, _"When did he leave? I have something I need to tell him, and I was hoping I didn't miss him."_

The marina owner looked down at his logbook, then replied_, "About an hour ago. He seemed in some sort of hurry, and he looked injured."_

_"Injured?"_ Ken tried to sound surprised, though he already knew that fact. 

_"Yea. He had his wrists bandaged and his shirt was soaked with blood. I asked him if he needed any medical assistance, but he was rude and told me to mind my own business."_

**"That's Joe alright!"** _"Can you tell me which island he was headed to?"_

_"Wish I could! Normally when we rent out our equipment we like to know where it's headed, but he nearly took my head off by telling me it was personal business. Then when I told him it was our policy and I wasn't obligated to let him take out anything, he told me to take the policy and shove it up my ass."_

Ken couldn't help but ask_. "So why'd you rent out a boat for him then?"_

The man paused a moment, then shrugged. _"Well, in a matter of speaking, you could say I didn't. I told him I'd have to speak to the manager about the situation, and when I turned by back, he was gone. Next I know a boat's leaving the docks. Guess he hot-wired the damn thing!"_

**"That's typical." **While musing at the thought, he failed to notice the two men that entered the office behind him. Very nonchalantly, the marina owner cocked his head and nodded in Ken's direction. The others understood the gesture; this guy was a friend of the George boy that had been here earlier. Only they knew George wasn't his last name, but his first, and his real last name was Asakura.

_"You plan on renting a boat kid? I don't mean to rush you, but I've some repair work to do at Dock B and I've gotta close up shop."_

_"Well, I guess it can't hurt. Not that I'll find him or anything, but I can try. Want me to pay for my friend's rental also?"_

_"No. I'll nail him when he comes back." _He gave a broad smile, amused by the thought. 

*************

Weak from blood loss, Joe stumbled from the boat and fell into Doctor Rafael's awaiting arms. "_Joe? What's wrong? What's happened?"_

He and the Doctor had some sort of connection; the man always seemed to be there when he was needed most, and time and again had saved him. _"I don't know. I'm doing things I can't control. I shot Hakase Nambu, I slit my wrists, my moods are erratically changing, and I don't know why! I'm sorry I came, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let ISO do a test on me and find out what I really am."_

_"You still choose to keep that a secret do you? Did anyone see your present condition?"_

_"Ken did, but he's oblivious to a lot of things."_

_"How do you plan on explaining where the cuts on your wrists went? If I do as I intend, it'll look like they were never even there."_

_"I don't know, and I don't care! Just help me!"_

_"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything." _Scooping Joe up, Doctor Rafael carried him to the laboratory to begin a diagnostic testing of his circuitry. 

************

The tracking signal continued to beep, though it was not as prominent, meaning Ken had a ways to go before locating his friend. He couldn't understand why Joe had run off without even considering the option of going to ISO; it was almost like he'd feared what they might find wrong.** "What are you hiding? What don't you want us to know about you?" **

He had inkling as to where Joe was headed, to the island of the strange and mysterious Doctor Rafael. He'd only met the man once, but there was something about him that made the single event memorable. Maybe it was all the unanswered questions that stirred up from it. **"How did he save Joe's life?"** He remembered when the truth of Joe's condition had been revealed, after the last encounter with Berg Katse. Doctor Nambu had said he had severe brain damage and had less than two weeks to live. He should've been dead, yet two years later, he appeared again, as if nothing had happened. **"Where were you for those two years? And why didn't you try to contact us?" **

There were never any straightforward answers. Joe always cut to the point by saying he'd been saved miraculously by the doctor and that was all that mattered. Everyone on the team had his or her suspicions, yet no one knew exactly what had happened. And they never expected the explanation to come out. **"Guess some secrets are better kept hidden, huh Joe?"**

****************

The two Galactor agents followed behind Ken's rental; just as he had done to Joe, they had done to him. Their own tracking signal was loud, and indicated that the small craft was travelling in a westward direction towards a group of islands not located on any known map.

_"Where you think he's headed boss?"_

_"Don't know. But I do know he's going wherever Asakura went."_

_" He's sure making it easy isn't he?"_

_"Sure is. When he docks the boat, we'll nab him. Then we find the other one and nab him too. We should be well awarded by Gel Sadra for our actions."_

_"Why don't we just kill them? Seems every time we try to capture them they slip through our fingers!"_

_"Gel Sadra wants them alive. She wants to be able to duplicate the technology used on Joe Asakura, in order to make a worthy opponent."_

_"I can see taking down the leader, but what about the cyborg? He's unstoppable! Have you forgotten his strength, speed, and agility?"_

_"No, I haven't. We know his circuitry is affected by EM waves, which I why I have this." _He pulled a hand heldradio transmitter from his pocket_. "This emits the frequency needed to immobilize him. It'll be easy!" _

***************

The cold metal table he laid upon brought back a flash of memory, and he shuddered. **"Feels like the first time. Thank God it isn't." **

_"You ok Joe?"_

_"Yea, just thinking about the last time I was here."_He hoped the testing wouldn't take much time; he was definitely uncomfortable. _"Find anything yet?"_

Doctor Rafael looked at the printouts and furrowed his eyebrows. _"For the last hour and a half I've been going over these readouts, and I think I've finally narrowed down the problem. Looks like one of the chips I implanted to compensate for the brain damage is malfunctioning. You say you haven't been able to control your moods?"_

_"Well, sort of. It's like I don't have any inhibitions. I say what I feel, or what's on the top of my head, regardless of whether or not I should."_

_"Well that's it then!"_

_"That's WHAT then?"_

_"The chip that I implanted to control your emotions must not be working properly. Have you been shocked by any electromagnetic pulses lately?"_

Joe nodded_. "Yea, about three weeks ago. We were in a battle against one of Galactor's mechas, and it emitted a powerful EM wave that knocked both Piemer and myself out. I didn't think anything of it, but now that you mention it, I started getting headaches again not long after."_

_"That's because it wasn't working, and therefore was not doing it's job to work against your brain damage. How long did you say this was going on?"_

_"Three weeks."_

_"And you didn't come to me sooner?"_

_"I didn't want to. Ken and the others are suspicious enough with my taking off all the time without telling them where. I really wish I could just let them know about me, but I…I just don't know what they'd think."_

_"Have you considered the fact that maybe your friend followed you here?"_

Joe hadn't; there's no way Ken could have tracked him, unless for once he'd been outsmarted. "_Why do you say that?"_

Doctor Rafael pointed to a monitor screen_. "Because I found a tracking device in your pants pocket, and because he's docking right now on the west side of the island."_

_"What?" _Joe turned to look at the screen, then let his mouth drop open_. "How? What am I gonna tell him?"_

_"Right now you've got more problems to deal with. The radar indicates he's brought friends with him."_

_"He's been followed?" _Quickly, Joe got up from the exam table and started putting on his clothes._ "Wasn't he paying ANY attention? I don't believe this! He's gonna need my help."_

Doctor Rafael put a hand on his shoulder and pressed down firmly_. "Joe, you're in no shape to…" _He paused, sighed, and pulled away, very much aware from the flash of anger in Joe's eyes that his plea was futile._ "You do what you must. I know I can't stop you."_

Joe nodded to indicate his gratitude, then stepped out into the hallway_. "Don't worry Rafael Hakase. I'll be back."_

The doctor silently watched him leave, then muttered under his breath_. "I pray you will return Joe."_

**************

Ken breathed heavily as he pulled the boat up on the sandy beach. The air was humid and heavy, and despite the fact he wore a light covering of clothes, his body was drenched with sweat. **"Whew! What a job!"** He glanced around the island for any type of movement, and not seeing any, cupped his hands over his mouth and called to Joe. "_Joe! Where are you_?" There was no reply, and he tried again_. "Joe? I know you're here!_

He trudged a few steps, then stopped and looked around again. There was no sign of any life_. _**"Where is he? This is where the signal ends. He's got to be here!"**

**************

Joe was crouched near a pile of rocks; his keen vision had picked up the approaching craft near the northwest side of the island, and he honed in on it. On board there were two men in green; it was Galactor all right **"I don't believe he led them right to Rafael's island! What was he thinking!" **He pulled a few shuriken from his pants pocket, then crept closer to the edge of the shore. When they finally beached, he would be ready to attack.

**************

Ken saw the cave opening, and he stepped inside. He shuddered from the sudden cold and dampness, and fought hard to adjust his eyes to the newly darkened surroundings. After a minute or two of feeling his way along the walls, his hand felt cool metal; it was a door. "**What is this? A base of some kind?" **He groped around some more, then found the lever and pushed it down, swinging the door open. 

He was surprised to see yet another passageway, more illuminated than the first and easier to see down._"Joe! You here? Where are you?" _The only reply was his own, as his voice echoed back down the corridor. 

************

_"Why do I have to drag the boat ashore?" _

The captain was irritated by his second's question. _"Because I outrank you, and because you're supposed to do all the grunt work. Now do it!"_

_"Is it my fault I can't get a promotion? I've been trying!"_

_"Shut up and do your job! Have you forgotten we're supposed to be stealthy?"_

Joe couldn't help but crack a grin; these Galactors really were stupid. Then again, so was his commander forallowing them to follow him. **"You're never gonna hear the end of it Ken. Not when this is over."**

The guard clumsily pulled the boat to shore, then glanced around at the vastness that surrounded them. _"Where could he have gone?"_

_"It's simple. We follow the footprints in the sand. We'll find them."_

Joe cocked an eyebrow.** "Them? So they know I'm here too? Great!"**

_"Hey, are you going to use that black box thing? I don't want to be jumped by that cyborg…."_

The commander interrupted_. "We won't. They have no idea that we're here."_

**"Oh yeah?" **Joe smiled, then found it to be the opportune time to strike. Taking a number of shuriken in his hand, he threw them at the leader. Its mark was precisely on target; they embedded themselves in his neck and dropped him instantly. The second guard dropped also, not from injury, but from sheer terror. He screamed, then clambered over his comrade's fallen body and reached for the transmitter. **"How do you turn this damned thing on?"**

From the corner of his eye he saw Joe emerge from the shadows, prepared to make another strike with his shuriken. _"You're gonna pay for this you Galactor bastard!"_ The guard's eyes widened at the threat, and as he frantically fumbled with the box, trying desperately to figure out how to use it, he cursed aloud. _"Damn it! How do you work this thing?" _

Just as Joe was just about to evoke his uncontrolled wrath upon the helpless guard, he found the small trigger switch and flicked the transmitter on.

**************

_"Hello, is anyone there?"_ The hallway was deathly silent, and the only sound that could be heard was his own beating heart. _"Are you here Joe? You ok?"_

He reached the end of the corridor, then opened another door, which led to yet another hallway. **"This is like a** **maze! I'm never going to find my way around in here!"** Thankfully, he still had Joe's signal from the tracking device, and this was helping him to relinquish some of the confusion. _"Doctor Rafael? You here? Joe? Anyone?"_

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the hallway ended again, and opened into a large room filled with flashing computer monitors and laboratory equipment. _"Doctor Rafael? Where are you? It's Ken Washio of the Science Ninja Team. I'm looking for Joe. Doctor Rafael?"_

For a moment there was no reply, then from the shadows a voice called out._ "I've been expecting you."_

_"You have?" _Ken frowned and looked around for its source_. " Why? Where are you?"_

_"Well hidden, just to be safe."_

_"Safe? From what?"_

_"You've brought Galactor to this island. Were you not aware of this?"_

_"I did?" _From his tone of voice, it was obvious he'd been oblivious to it_. "How? Where's Joe?"_

_"They followed you. I picked them up on radar just after I picked up your craft. Joe's gone after them and I fear for his life. He's very strong in mind, but his body is weak. He needs to be regenerated."_

_"Rewhat?"_

Doctor Rafael paused, realizing in hindsight the slip he'd made.**"The boy does not know the truth. How could I****have forgotten that?"**_ "I don't have time to explain. They are on the northwest side of the island. Go to him. He needs your help."_

****************

The EM wave hit Joe like a ton of bricks, and it dropped him instantly. He grabbed his head and screamed, then as his vision blurred and his mind gave way to the confusion, he screamed again. **"What the hell is happening to me?"**

_"It worked! I don't believe it worked!"_ Because the pulse had taken Joe off guard, he'd missed with his shuriken; all four had fallen just short of the man's feet. _"I'm still alive!"_ Laughing, he walked towards Joe, who was struggling hard to stay alert and conscious. _"This will be a piece of cake! Gel Sadra will be very pleased with what I have to bring back!"_

Through pain and clenched teeth, Joe stammered_. "You won't take me that easily!" _He tried to rise to his feet, but his weight could not hold him up, and he collapsed back to the ground. The guard reached down to grab his arm, but he pulled away and threw a badly aimed punch at the man's head. _"Don't touch me!"_

He was surprised by what came next. The guard kicked him hard in the ribcage, nearly taking his breath away, then followed suit with a blow to his head, sending bursts of brightly colored light to his already hazy vision. He didn't understand, and he could not comprehend why it was happening. **"Why can't I move? I'm not supposed to be this vulnerable!"**

It was impossible, yet there it was. He felt human again, no longer a cyborg with the absolute in strength and power, but a mere man, able to be conquered.

***************

From a nearby ledge, Ken saw it all. He couldn't believe what he was witnessing, but he knew it had to be true. Joe was in trouble, and he needed help. **"Why Joe? What's happened to you? What did the doctor mean when he said you needed regenerated?"**

After taking a moment to access the situation, he pulled out his bird saucer and sized up his opponent. He smiled inwardly; knowing the young Galactor recruit wasn't going to be much competition. Or were his looks deceiving? He'd managed to take down Joe, and he was one of the best. **"Why? What did he have that was so incapacitating to Joe?"**

It was then that he saw the black box in the man's hand. He was waving it back and forth in front of Joe's face and laughing; it almost appeared as if he were taunting him with it. **"What the hell is that thing?" **Whatever it was, it was evoking a rage in Ken, which was also being fueled by his older brother's despair. **"This is my fault. If I had only been more careful I wouldn't have led them here, and this wouldn't be happening!"**

******************

_"What's the matter Asakura?"_ The guard laughed, then administered another blow to Joe's head. _"Not such a tough guy now are you?" _

_"I'm gonna kill you, you bastard!"_ In retaliation, Joe brought his left arm up and connected with the man's wrist, dislodging the transmitter. For a brief moment he was free of the EM waves; it was all the time he needed. As his vision cleared and the pain in his head dissipated, he picked the guard up by his neck and shook him like a rag doll, then using a completely unrestrained force, threw him hard against the ground. There was the sickening crunch of bones, then his quiet whimpering as he made a final plea. _"Don't kill me. I was only doing what I was ordered to do!"_

_"You want mercy? From me?"_ Controlled by nothing more than his own lack of inhibition, he kicked the man forcefully in the side of the head, caving in the skull and spewing blood and brain matter over the surrounding rocks. 

***************

Ken was completely awestruck. He still held the bird saucer in his hand, but there was no need to use it now. The threat was definitely gone. "_Joe? What did you just do?"_

Surprised to hear his friend's voice, Joe turned abruptly. _"What I always do. Kill the enemy."_

_"You…you didn't just kill him. You…oh God!"_ Turning away from the sight, he gagged, vomited, and then gagged again. "_What is wrong with you How could you? Do you even care?"_

_"Should I? It was either him or me." _There was absolutely no emotion in his voice; it was like he was in a trance and didn't even realize what he'd done. _"Are you saying you would have rather seen that happen to me?"_

_"But he wasn't even armed. All he had was this." _He looked down at the small transmitter he'd picked up from the ground. _"Hardly a weapon if you ask me."_

_"That depends, now doesn't it?"_

_"On what?" _Without understanding, Ken flicked on the switch and watched even more confused as Joe dropped to the ground and covered his ears_. "Turn that damned thing off!"_

Ken complied_. "I don't get it. It's a wave transmitter."_

_"It bothers me ok?"_

_"Care to elaborate on that?"_

_"No!"_

_"Ok, have it your way." _Ken turned on the transmitter again, then smiled when Joe winced_. "Why do high frequency EM waves bother you?"_

_"Turn that fucking thing off or I'm going to kill you!"_

Ken turned in the other direction and started humming, allowing his friend's plea to fall on deaf ears._ "I'm not listening!"_

_"If…you…don't…turn that off. I'm going to…Damn you Ken!"_

After letting him suffer for about a minute, Ken flicked the switch off_. "This can go on for hours if you want it to. I want answers Joe! What the hell is happening to you? I think you know, and if you're going to be the number two man on my team, you'd better start fessing up!"_

_"Maybe I shouldn't be the number two man on your team then! You went without me for two years! What's a few more?"_

Infuriated by the comment, Ken slugged his brother in the jaw. He knew he'd pay dearly for doing it, but he didn't care. All he wanted was a straight answer, and if that was how he was going to get it, so be it._ "Damn YOU Joe! We didn't enjoy being without you! And how do you think we felt when we knew you were still alive, but you'd stayed away and said nothing for two years, as if you didn't even care that we were mourning your loss? We thought you were dead…for two years, and then you come back as Mr. Mysterious and we're all supposed to accept it? The others might, but I won't. I'm your commander damn it, and if this is how you want to play, we're going to settle it right now!"_

When he was finished, Joe gave him a salute and clapped. _"Bravo Ken, what a lecture. Too bad I really don't give a damn_!" He then got into Ken's face and gave him a cold, threatening stare_. "You really want a fight?"_

_"If it must be that way Joe."_

_"Ok_." He rounded on Ken and slugged him in the side of the face, sending him flying backwards and hard to the ground. Assoon as he got up, Joe threw another punch at his abdomen, doubling him over_. "You still want this Ken? It's like you said, it can go on for hours if you like."_

**"This is crazy Ken! You watched him take some guy's head off! What the hell do you think you're going to do to him now?"**While contemplating his next move, Joe came at him again with a flying kick. Ken grabbed his leg and flipped him to the ground, then delivered a lightning fast blow to his ribcage. Not surprisingly, he wasn't even fazed by the attack. Grabbing Ken's left arm, he twisted hard, snapping the bones with ease in both his wrist and elbow. 

Ken screamed in agony, then dug his good elbow into Joe's chest, backing him off a few inches. His body trembled with mixed emotions of shock, pain, and rage, yet he still would not back down._ "Joe. I don't know why you're acting this way, but we can help you. Doctor Rafael can…"_

_"Shut up!" _The vicious blow was aimed at Ken's jaw, but he managed to duck out of the way and throw a weak punch with his good arm at Joe's cheek. _"You bastard!"_ Joe lashed out with a fierce intensity, grabbing Ken by the shoulders and shoving him roughly and painfully to the ground. The frenzied kicks to his ribcage were numerous and uncontrollable, and it wasn't until he saw blood that he even considered stopping. _"Is this the fight you wanted Ken? Come on, get up!"_

Ken lay motionless and silent, fearing another brutal attack was coming. He was certain he couldn't take much more; his breathing was slow and labored, and with the rising and falling of his chest came excruciating pain. Joe was impatiently pacing back and forth, urging his friend to rise again_. "Is that all you've got? Get up and fight me, you coward!"_

_"Joe, stop!"_ Doctor Rafael stepped forward from the shadows and between the feuding siblings. _"He's not your enemy. He's_ _your friend, your brother. What do you think you're doing?"_ He knelt down beside Ken and felt for a pulse, then rolled him gently to one side. "_You ok? Where does it hurt?"_

Ken's reply was hoarse. _"Everywhere. My ribs…think he broke some. And my left side…broke my damned elbow_ _and wrist."_ As he started giving in to the shock, he closed his eyes and shivered. _"What's happening to him? Why?"_

Doctor Rafael removed his cape and wrapped him up tightly in it, then picked him up and turned to Joe_. "I'm going to tend to your friend now. If you choose to remain with me, stay out of my way and don't interfere. If you don't, I will make sure you regret it. Do we understand each other?"_

_"You threatening me?"_ He took a challenging step forward.

_"You really don't want to mess with me boy."_ Doctor Rafael pulled a small EM wave transmitter of his own from his pocket and showed it to Joe. _"Don't forget I created you, and I can also destroy you. If you don't want one hell of a headache, you'll turn your back and walk away now. Understand?"_

Joe nodded silently, then looked away and walked to the water's edge, leaving the Doctor alone to tend to the wounded Ken.

****************

Doctor Rafael ran some preliminary tests on Ken to check the severity of his injuries, and was pleased with the results. _"Considering who you were up against, I'd say you're pretty damned lucky. It looks like there is some minor internal bleeding I'll need to take care of. Four ribs are broken and two are fractured, but there is no damage to the lungs. X-rays confirm that the elbow and wrist are indeed broken, so I will need to set them. Also, there is some massive swelling around your nose and left side of your cheekbone, and though nothing is broken, it appears the nose has been dislocated. Do you have any questions so far?"_

Ken forced a smile; even something so simple as that was a painful reminder of his condition. _"Yea. So many I don't know which to ask first!"_

_"The answers will come, but I'm not sure you're ready to hear it."_

_"Look, why is this so difficult?" _He tensed slightly in anger, then relaxed again when the Doctor shushed him.

_"Don't go getting yourself worked up. You don't need it, and neither do I."_

_"I'm sorry. I'm just so…confused. I don't understand what's wrong with Joe and I don't know how to help him."_

_"You can't. Only I can."_

_"Why only you? What did you do two years ago to save him? Nambu Hakase told us he had severe brain damage, and that he only had two weeks left. Yet he still lives. Why?"_

_"It's sort of hard to explain. I had to compensate for the damage, so I implanted a chip in his brain to do the job. This same chip also controls him emotions and inhibitions."_

_"And this is what…malfunctioning?"_

_"You could say that."_

_"I did." _

_"I know that!" _Ken was being tenacious, which duly tested the Doctor's patience. _"There's nothing to hold back how he feels now, so he acts out his emotions without thinking about it."_

_"Oh great! So he really wanted to kill Nambu Hakase, and he really is jealous of my relationship with him?"_

_"Deep down he probably feels that way, but he never could express it."_

_"So Joe's pretty much a time bomb just waiting to explode?" _Ken emphasized the point by muttering under his breath, _"Tick,_ _tick, tick"_ then throwing his hand into the air to reenact an explosion. _"BOOM!"_

The Doctor nodded_. "And you got the brunt of the explosion."_

_"Don't I always?"_

************

For over an hour Joe walked along the beach, trying desperately to clear his mind and regain his self-control. He was very much aware that he had taken Ken down in a fight, but as for the severity of the beating, he was unsure. "**Is this how it's always going to be? Whenever something goes wrong with my circuitry I'm going to fly off the deep end and kill someone?"**

At that moment he wished he'd never returned to rejoin Gatchaman.** "I should have remained dead to them. Why did I come back?" **That was a stupid question, and he already knew the answer; it was love. He loved his family, and though at the time, and now, he felt it was better to have stayed away, he knew he couldn't have. Ken and the others were the glue that held him together. Without them, he'd end up falling apart.

For this reason alone he didn't want to tell them about his cybernetics.** "What will they think of me if they knew I'm no longer human?" **In his eyes, he was just a weapon created by Doctor Rafael to stop Sosai X, nothing more. He'd left his soul and humanity behind at Cross Karakolm, and with that he should have also left behind the life he once knew. But he hadn't, and here he was, haunted by the fading remembrances of all the things he'd unintentionally done wrong. **"What am I going to tell Ken? How can I ever correct what's happened?"**

He found himself still asking that question when he reentered Rafael's laboratory.

*************

_"How is he?"_

Doctor Rafael returned Joe's concerned look with one of his own. _"Mentally or physically?"_

_"Let's start with mentally."_

_"He knows too much, and you can't deny him the truth any longer. He doesn't understanding what's happened to you, and it's tearing him apart. Is this how you want it to be?"_

_"Of course not! But I can't…you know why! I'm not…"_

The Doctor knew what was coming, so he simply cut Joe off_. "You ARE human, and soon you will have to face that. The truth will have to come out Joe, if you want to save yourself."_

_"Save myself? From what?"_

_"From what you've created. You tried to kill your foster father in front of hundreds of people. How can you justify doing that without telling the truth?"_

_"What I'VE created? Hey, I didn't ask to be saved!"_

Doctor Rafael's eyes narrowed, and he slapped Joe hard across the face_. "Don't you EVER take advantage of the second chance you were given! I saved you because…"_

_"Because YOU wanted to create a weapon to destroy Sosai X. You didn't want me back with Gatchaman. You wanted me all to yourself, so I could fulfill the destiny YOU created for me! Don't even try to lecture me! I hear enough of that…"_

From behind the arguing duo a voice interceded, finishing the sentence. _"From me."_

****************

Joe froze, then turned to face the unexpected guest. What he saw made his eyes widen and his mouth drop open. He tried to speak; he wanted to apologize, but all he could get out was one word. "_God."_

Ken's shirt was off, exposing the binder around his ribs, the cast on his elbow and wrist, and the number of darkened bruises that were vivid against his pale skin. _"Not quite, but thanks for the compliment anyway."_

The comment seemed to slip right over Joe's head_. "What?"_

_"If I have to explain it, it's not very funny, is it?"_

Joe still didn't understand, but then again, he wasn't putting much thought to it. He was too busy gawking at his handiwork. _"Did I…?"_ Unsure as to how to continue, he pointed a finger at Ken and waved it. _"Do that?"_

_"Yes, you did."_

_"Oh."_

_"Oh indeed."_

Doctor Rafael interjected, sensing it to be an opportune time to make an exit. _"I've got things to do so I'll leave you two alone. Looks like you have quite a bit to talk about."_

Joe replied dryly_. "Do we?"_

Ken response was much the same, only stated in fact_. "We do."_

They watched the Doctor depart, then turned their attention back towards each other. For a few minutes neither said a word, then Ken finally broke the silence. "_You don't need to explain Joe. Doctor Rafael told me all about you."_

Joe paled visibly_. "He did?"_

_"Yea, and it's nothing you need to be ashamed of. We all have problems with our heads once in a while. Fortunately, in your case, it's only a chip and can be easily replaced. No big deal."_

**"A chip? Is that all he thinks it is?" **The tension eased a little. _"No, in hindsight, I guess it isn't."_

_"What I don't get is why you couldn't tell us about it."_

**"About what? Just how much do you know Ken?"**Joe worded his words very carefully_. "I didn't know what you'd think if you knew." _

_"I think it's a medical miracle! Using a chip to compensate for brain damage? Who would have thought? I always wondered how you were saved. That explains it."_

**"He doesn't know I'm a cyborg. He can't."**_ "And it explains the EM waves too, and why whenever Piemer gets knocked out, so do I. I'm real sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner Ken."_

_"I guess in some ways what happened is good."_

_Oh? How so?"_

_"Don't take this the wrong way, but it gives us an idea as to how you really feel about us."_

Joe sighed; he really didn't know how to explain that. _"I didn't want to kill Nambu Hakase, and I didn't want to hurt you Ken!"_

_"Maybe not in a literal sense, but you thought about it. Doctor Rafael told me the malfunctioning chip stopped you from having inhibitions, and you acted on how you really felt. What you said wasn't quite what I wanted to hear, but if it's true, I'm glad to know about it."_

_"Ken, I…I don't even know what I said, or what I did. How can you say I really felt that way?"_

_"I don't know. Stop me if I'm wrong. You hate my lecturing, you don't like being second to the likes of me…"_

_"Stop!" _Joe put up his hand_. "That's not true. Why do you say that?"_

_"Well, if you really must know." _Ken paused, smiled, then lowered his voice to a baritone and began quoting_. "Hi, I'm Eagle Ken Washio, I'm Gatchaman. I'm so special I get my own fucking title." _

The poor mimicking attempt was humorous_. "I didn't say that, did I?"_

_"Yes, among other things. You said you're jealous of my relationship with Hakase, and that you hate my lecturing…"_

_"You already said that."_

_"I know, but you told me that numerous times. You said you were angry with me because I left you behind at Cross Karakolm instead of having Ryu take you back to the Phoenix." _Silence; Joe could not disagree_. "So that's true then?"_

Joe looked towards the ground and muttered_. "You were doing you job. What you had to do."_

_"That doesn't answer the question."_

More silence; Joe looked away in frustration_. "I am."_

_"You're what?"_

_"Angry with you…for leaving me."_

_"Nambu Hakase couldn't have saved you Joe. You would have died."_

**"Yeah, I would have died."**Unfortunately, he couldn't express the thought aloud_. "Things would've been different then, wouldn't they?"_

_"Not really Joe. You're my brother, and it doesn't matter to me, not now or ever, if you're a…"_

Joe felt his stomach muscles tighten in anxious anticipation_. _**"If I'm a what?"**

_"cyborg. "_

**"He's knows. Oh God he knows!" **His eyes closed and he exhaled sharply. _"You know?"_

_"Yes Joe, I know. I put two and two together. Really, it wasn't that hard. Doctor Rafael wouldn't tell me, but the signs were there. First off, you slit your wrists. A normal person like myself would have been affected by the blood loss, but you seemed completely oblivious to the fact. And the cuts, they're gone now. Where'd they go? Second, the way you took out that Galactor guard. If I had kicked him in the head, the most he would have received was a concussion. Your blow scattered his brains all over the place! Third, your two year absence. Why would you have stayed away for two years just because you had a chip implanted in your brain? There had to be more, and there is, isn't there?"_

Joe sullenly nodded_. "The damage my body sustained was too severe. Rafael Hakase couldn't save me. It was the only way he could. He didn't give me an option; he just did it. When I woke up I had a new body, and a second chance at life. I didn't want it, and I despised him for it. For eight months I was in recovery, and then when I was well enough to walk again, I thought about coming back. But I couldn't. What would I say? How would you act around me? Would things be different? Galactor was gone, and so was Berg Katse. Vengeance was mine; it was fulfilled, and I didn't need to fight anymore. Then I found out about Gel Sadra, and how everything was happening all over again. I knew then that I couldn't stay away. I had to come back, but you were never supposed to know."_ His voice cracked with emotion, then trailed off. _"You were never supposed to know."_** **

Ken put a hand on his brother's shoulder_. "But I do know, now, and I'm telling you I don't care. You're still you, Joe, and nothing can change that, ok? I know you've got a lot of problems to work out, and I want you to know, I'm always gonna be there for you."_

Joe smiled for the sake of looking relieved, but inside his mind was racing wildly. An emotion of fear and concern for the unknown was twisting his stomach into knots. **"I'm so afraid of what I've become, and of what I cannot control. Who says this won't happen again, after the chip is repaired? What happens next time? Do I really kill someone? It could be Ken. I don't want to live with that fear. I don't want to be some Doctor's misguided experiment." **He sighed, then figuring there was only one way to ease his troubled mind, started walking towards the surgical ward. _"Well, guess it's time to get this over with. You can tell Doctor Rafael I'm ready whenever he is." _

**************

Over an hour later, Doctor Rafael emerged from the surgical ward with a pair of tweezers. Between its end tips was a small microchip. "_Well, here's the culprit." _The surgery was a success; the malfunctioning chip in Joe's brain was replaced, then encased in a plastic seal to prevent future interference from any EM waves.

_"THAT'S it?" _Ken was surprised by its minute size. "_That's been causing all of Joe's problems?" _

_"Well, not ALL of his problems, but most of them."_

Ken laughed_. "How'd he hold up in surgery?"_

_"Fine. He's Joe, isn't he?"_

_"Yea, he's Joe. Funny how that explains itself doesn't it? When can I see him?"_

_"He won't be conscious for a while, but you can go in there now if you like."_

_"I figure I should be there with him. I still don't know how he feels about my knowing that he's a cyborg, and I don't want him thinking anything different than usual."_

_"It shouldn't have been kept a secret to begin with, but that's the road he chose. I understand why."_

_"You do? I sure don't."_

_"Joe feels he's lost part of his humanity. He feels I didn't give him a choice. In reality, I didn't, but I thought he'd handle his second chance at life a little better. I was wrong."_

_"You weren't wrong." _Ken gave the Doctor a wide grin and shrugged. "_That's just Joe, remember?"_

**************

Joe's eyelids fluttered open, and he turned his head to the left, to where Ken was sitting in a nearby chair. He had a pad of paper in his lap, and lost in thought, was absent-mindedly tapping the pencil's eraser against it. _"Ken, will you stop it already_?"

The voice broke his concentration, and he looked up._ "What? Did you say something?"_

_"I said will you stop it? For the last fifteen minutes I've been listening to you tapping that damned pencil, and more than once I've been tempted to snatch it from you and break it in two!"_

Ken smiled._ "Well, at least that new chip seems to be working. You thought about doing it, but you held back. Thank God for inhibitions!"_

Joe could have taken offense to the comment, but he didn't. Instead, he laughed_. "Sometimes I wonder why it had to be me that was stuck with you. What are you doing anyway?"_

_"Writing up my report for Director Anderson. He's going to want to know what happened to you, and me, so I figured I'd start early. Problem is, it's not very easy."_

_"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm just not ready yet for the world to know what I really am. Can you try to understand that?"_

_"I do understand that, which is why I've completely omitted it. All I said was you chose to go to Doctor Rafael over ISO because he knew about your brain damage and how to compensate for it. I mentioned the chip, and that it malfunctioned and needed replaced."_

_"And you really think he's going to believe that? Would you?"_

_"Well…no, but then again, I know you."_

_"And the others? Will they?"_

_"Yes, because of what I tell them. Stop worrying about it so much, ok?"_

_"Ok, I'll try."_ Joe slid off the edge of the exam table and reached for his shirt and shoes. _"Have you contacted anyone to see how Nambu Hakase is?"_

_"Yea. Guess the word around ISO is the Condor was having a bad day."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"You only grazed the skull. If you'd been having one of your usual days, we'd be burying him right now._

Joe felt his temperature rise at the insolent comment; he was angry._ "I shot Nambu Hakase in the head, on one of the most important nights of his life, and they're making jokes about it?"_

_"It is in poor taste isn't it? Anyway, Ryu told me he's doing better. It's going to be a long road to recovery, but he'll pull through."_

_"It's gonna be a long road for both of us. How am I supposed to face him? He's got to have some sort of resentment towards me."_

_"He's not resentful, but he is without understanding. An explanation of the whole event will be in order."_

_"An explanation?" _Joe laughed_. "That ought to be good. I don't understand it myself!"_

_"The words will come. You'll see."_

_"I hope so Ken. Right now, more than ever, I want this to be over."_

_****************_

After saying their good-byes to Doctor Rafael, Ken and Joe headed towards the westward part of the island, to where the boats were docked. There were three of them now, a fact that seemed very amusing to Joe. _"Hey Ken, did that marina owner tell you I stole his boat?"_

_"Yea, he did. That's how I knew it was you. No one else would've been bold enough to even try." _Hepaused, thenadded, smiling_, "How are we going to get them all back?"_

Joe already had the answer_; _he stepped into the first, set the autopilot coordinates for the marina, started the engines, and engaged the throttle. He did likewise to the second boat. _"That takes care of two of them. You coming?"_

Ken watched bemusedly as the two unmanned boats glided effortlessly out to sea, then smiled and laughed. "Y_ou never cease to amaze me Joe."_

*******************

They'd come full circle; Ken was standing outside Joe's trailer, while Joe was inside packing a few changes of clothes. He emerged a few minutes later with a duffel bag draped over his shoulder. _"Ok, let's get this over with." _He threw the bag into the back seat of the G-2, then jumped into the driver's seat and started the car's engines._ _

His nervous tension about returning to ISO and seeing Doctor Nambu must have been blatantly obvious, because Ken immediately commented on it. "_Stop worrying Joe."_

_"Who says I'm worrying?"_

_"You reek of nervousness. Stop it. They'll understand." _Ken was exactly right; the others did understand. He had already briefed them on the situation, omitting the part about Joe's being a cyborg, and asked that everyone be as supportive as possible. It wasn't very hard to do; Joe was their brother, a member of their family, and they'd do what they could to lift him up.

When Joe pulled the G-2 in to the ISO parking garage, he was surprised to see his teammates waiting for him by the front door. After what he'd done to Doctor Nambu, he expected some type of shunning, but there was none, only cheers and happiness over his safe return. As he stepped from the car and walked towards them, he was ambushed by the young Jinpei. _"Joe Aniki! You're ok!"_ The boy threw his arms around him in a strong embrace, then broke down and started crying. _"I thought we lost you. You're back now, aren't you? Your head is ok now, isn't it?" _

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, then Joe replied. _"Yea, my head's ok kid."_ He ruffled Jinpei's hair, then wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. _"You don't need to cry any more. It's ok."_

Jinpei looked away, suddenly ashamed. _"Sorry Joe. I shouldn't be crying."_

_"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry."_

_"It wasn't your fault Joe. We know that." _Jun put her arms around Joe and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Ryu, not the overemotional type, opted for simply placing his hand on Joe's shoulder. _"And we're all here for you if you need us. We're a team. Always remember that."_

**************

For a moment he stood in the hallway, reluctant to enter Doctor Nambu's room_. _**"What does he think of me? I ruined one of the best days of life. I tried to kill him! How will he ever be able to forgive me?" **Fear caused him to take a few steps away from the doorway; anger for doing so forced him to turn back around. Confused and irritated, he was unsure as to whether or not the Doctor would welcome his presence. **"What will I say? What will I do?"**

The telephone rang; Doctor Nambu picked it up on the second ring. "_Hello?"_ There was about a minute's worth of silence before he spoke again. "_Ok Ken,_ _I'll do it."_ Joe heard the receiver being hung up, then the Doctor's voice again, this time calling out. _"Joe? Ken says you can stop standing in the hallway and come on in."_

**"What? Did he say what I thought he said?" **Joe looked up and groaned; Ken was standing by the hospital courtesy phones at the far end of the hall. When their eyes met, he smiled and waved, then made a beeline to the nearest flight of stairs yelling, _"I am the White Shadow that slips out unseen!" _There was no audible response, Joe simply flicked him off and walked into the room. 

One look at Doctor Nambu brought on a flood of different emotions: pain, anger, joy, and frustration. He loved his father, yet he also resented him. How could he tell him that? After what he'd done? Their relationship always had a strain, and the incident at the induction ceremony only seemed to put more pressure on it. At least in his eyes it had. He felt that nothing, absolutely nothing, could warrant forgiveness for what he'd done. 

_"Joe, I'm not a stranger. You can come closer you know." _He tried to speak, but the words couldn't come; tried to reach out, but he couldn't move. Doctor Nambu continued, _"Listen, I know what you're thinking, and I know how you feel, but you're wrong. I know why you did what you did. You couldn't help it. I understand that, and I accept it. I forgive you. The question that remains now is, have you forgiven yourself?"_

Joe stared towards the ground and shook his head_. "I can't. How can you?"_

_"Because you're my son, and one of the only things I have left in this world that is good."_

The comment made Joe look up; his eyes met the Doctor's. "_Good? Is that what you call it? I tried to kill my own father! Where's the good in that? Everything I have; my life, my family, my friends, my career…it all comes from you! How can you look me in the eyes and tell me you forgive me, when I tried to kill you?"_

_"Because I know you didn't mean it."_

_"Didn't I?"_

Doctor Nambu was puzzled by the question. _"What do you mean 'Didn't I?' Did you mean it?"_

Joe remained silent for a few minutes before responding. He didn't want to express how he felt, but how could he avoid it? It was then the words of Doctor Rafael returned to his mind. **"The truth will have to come out Joe, if you want to save yourself."** And so it did come out.

_"I could never hurt you Hakase, not after all you've done for me. It's just sometimes I feel so inadequate, so worthless in your eyes. The one thing I've wanted more than anything, even more than vengeance, was your approval. But no matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to get it. Your relationship with Ken, I envy it. The whole time growing up I craved that closeness with you, but for some reason, you always kept your distance from me. There was always some invisible barrier between us that kept us apart. Do you understand?"_

Doctor Nambu nodded, then removed his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes._ "Joe, there are things I need to confess to you too. For the last thirteen years I've blamed myself for your parent's deaths. If I hadn't asked them to defect, if I hadn't asked them to meet with me that day on the beach, what would have happened? Would you still have been denied the right to grow up beside your real mother and father? Would you still be so consumed with vengeance? I'm not proud of making you what you've become, and believe it or not, it's hard for me to accept the fact I've turned five innocent children into trained assassins. But it's just that, a fact, and I have to live with the decision I made. You and the others do something I could never even dream of doing. You risk your lives every day for the sake of humanity. You never needed to earn my approval. You already had it, and that's why I chose you to be one of Gatchaman. I thank God every day for you."_

With the Doctor was finished, Joe found himself crying also_. "I never knew, Hakase, and I'm sorry."_ Unlike the times in the past, he did not turn away in shame. Instead, he went to his father's side, and embracing him tightly, replied without hesitation, _"I love you."_

And with those words the barrier was finally torn down.

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End file.
